Friday, March 30, 2012

O hai

Gosh, I haven't posted in a while. That was kind of intentional, as you might gather from my previous post. Taking a break from the internet for a week or two or longer really puts things in perspective.

See a long time ago, like fifteen to twenty years ago, if I wanted to have a social life it was easy. I could just stop by a friend's house and we'd talk. Now things have changed. I feel obligated to call, text or email first. And that's fine, but the trouble is, most people don't get back to me, and that makes me assume (wrongly I am sure in most cases) that people just don't like me. Logically I know that they are just busy or flaky. If you are one of them, rest assured, you are not alone. But don't let guilt keep you from communicating with me, mkay? I am one of the most patient and forgiving people you will ever meet. I think of you often, all of you.

Okay, that said, let me share with you what I did the past month. I basically went back to my teen years in a whole new way. Not by listening to Duran Duran or geeking out on typefaces or reading comics. No, I reread Tao Te Ching and started studying Buddhism again. And you know what, that stuff is really what shaped me growing up. Those philosophies helped make me the ridiculously calm, peaceful person I am today. But sadly, I had forgotten all about these ideas for nearly twenty years! My forgetfulness was at its peak these past few years when I was immersed in social media. I naively began to think that it was All About Me. Thankfully, I have now been reminded otherwise. Whew. My behavior these past few years has been embarrassing, in retrospect. So I am attempting to shelve my egotism in the round file where it belongs.

I have been stressing about my inability to motivate myself to do certain things. Then I just realized, it's because I am trying to do those things for the wrong reasons. This blows my mind. I'm still mulling it over, but if I can explain any clearer I will. Either here or on my LJ. :)

Peace out,
Gommy the Mommy