Monday, December 17, 2012

Sometimes, I May Say Things That Upset You

I have a bad habit of posting things on the Internet and then getting the idea that I hurt someone’s feelings with what I said. When I check in with people about it, I sometimes learn that yes, I really put my foot in someone’s ass without even meaning to. Other times, my worries were unfounded.

I post things in order to find rapport with others. I hope that other people can sometimes relate to the things I said and feel better or learn something helpful.

But here’s where the trouble begins (and where I learn a valuable lesson): finding connection with some people necessarily means alienating others, because people are different. So if I state an opinion, I get people agreeing with me, and others disagreeing. If you read what I write and immediately feel hurt or alienated by my opinion, I apologize, but I cannot guarantee I will never say things that will bother you. That’s just how it is. No one can get through this life without feeling some pain.

In the past, if I feared I’d hurt someone, I would just avoid posting for a while. Now I realize that no matter how kind or P.C. my statements may be, there may always be some people who take offense. At the risk of sounding rude: that’s their problem, not mine.