I had a revelation today. Those of you who’ve already had
this revelation will be nodding their heads sagely, but the rest of you may
learn something, so I present the following.
This pertains to how we spend our time. You see, there are wants and needs. Then there is this category I call obligations. These are “things you do because you feel like you
have to.” They aren’t true needs. A true need would be like, “I must go to the
ER because I broke a bone.” Obligations are fascinating!
My husband has become a pro at turning wants into obligations. For example, he paid for golf
lessons a few weeks ago, but has not used them yet. He has to use them before
the end of February or the money will be wasted. This motivates him to set up a
time to do the lessons. Additionally, he also enjoys fine whisky, so what did
he do? He set up a whisky advocacy group. Now he feels obligated to go to
whisky tastings and visit new distillers so that he can report back to the
group. In this way, he has an excuse to do what he wants, under the guise of it
being an obligation. Another way he uses this tactic to his advantage is to
talk to any interested party about his paintings. Sometimes those people
suddenly want him to make them a painting, and lo…he has an excuse to spend
time doing a favorite activity…painting.
Here’s how obligations work when it comes to kids’
activities: Your kid expresses a want. You sign them up for the class or
activity, pay the money, get the equipment, and then suddenly the want has become an obligation. See how
that works? Now suddenly Jimmy has to
go to soccer or gymnastics because it’s already been paid for and you’d be
wasting your money to let him stay home.
Are you in this situation at your home? Are you constantly
giving up your evenings for the sake of someone else’s “obligations”? Do you
have family members who cannot prioritize their wants, but simply must do it all? Maybe we could form a support
group. Whaddaya say we meet one evening a week? Yeah. I can hear it now. “Sorry,
Honey, I have to go to my Support
Meeting.”
I’ll meet you rolling on the floor, laughing.
