Taking responsibility for your own health

“Fix me!” I pleaded half-jokingly to my physical therapist one day last year. Every week for months I had been to her office and she’d spent twenty or thirty minutes manipulating me to help ease pain in my back, shoulder and hip. It was great! Then I’d do my exercises and go home. Yet every week I was back there again, wondering why the pain would not go away completely, forever.

Due to insurance limitations I had to stop seeing her. My shoulder and back pain slowly worsened. I got to the point where I went to a doctor specifically to ask “what is wrong with me that I have this pain?” He told me everyone has pain and that all I could do was manage it with massage and the like. At first I was disappointed. I wanted a magic bullet solution. I wanted proof on an xray or MRI that there was something structurally wrong with me that could be fixed.

The pain between my shoulder blade and spine was like a ball of Ick. It was like someone threw up inside my back and the barf just wouldn’t clear out. I’m speaking of this ball of Ick in the past tense because it is no longer with me in any serious way. I’ll tell you how I got rid of it.

I did four things. I can’t be sure which was most effective, but I’ll list all.

1. I’m seeing a new acupuncturist and she is awesome. Acupuncture is awesome. I highly recommend it for pain.

2. My new acupuncturist performed cupping on my back. A lot of crap came to the surface and my back opened up considerably. If anything, this (combined with the acupuncture) may have been the number one thing that loosened the blockage of ick, and the addition of qigong helps maintain my back’s health.

3. With the help of a qigong exercise video, I learned how to get my qi energy flowing again. Whenever I feel the ball of Ick starting to coalesce again, I can do some of these moves and it’s much better.

4. An attitude that I am responsible for my own health. Believing that I need a certain person or procedure to “fix” my problem takes my power away. In that situation, I become dependant on the outside help in order to feel good. That’s a crappy way to live.

So I encourage anyone who is suffering...look at your mind. How might it be contributing to the problem? Are you telling yourself you are just old or broken and you can't expect to feel any better? I encourage you to give yourself a compassionate pat on the back. You've been through some rough stuff. When you are ready to look at yourself with caring and love, your body may surprise you. I wish you the best!