When eating with my family, I look around and what sight meets my eyes? Husband has his iPhone in hand and Daughter is reading a book. If I'm expecting conversation and "family togetherness," I get upset. For a moment I wonder if I need to be the manners police and try to enforce a no-phone/no-book rule at the table. But then I wonder if being ignored this way is actually a blessing in disguise. It gives me an opportunity to practice mindful eating. Apparently they practice mindful eating in China, too, because in China it is considered rude to converse at a meal -- all attention should be on the food and the enjoyment of it.
As long as my kid understands that she and her dad are being rude according to the standards of US table etiquette, and can accord herself correctly at important outings, who cares? As long as my husband understands that chronic screen addiction is giving him terrible posture and is willing to accept it, who cares? I can just sit there and enjoy my meal, think my own thoughts, and maybe every now and then some one will share some of what they are thinking or reading and we can have a real discussion, or a soundbite discussion…who cares? It's all good.
Speaking of mindfulness, this afternoon I had a pleasant time sitting in a comfy chair for an hour, doing nothing but poring over food magazines and catalogs. It was great to be immersed in nothing but that…no thoughts of the future or past, or anything else I should be doing. Then I thought about multi-tasking and how different an experience that is. Sometimes I love it, sometimes I don't. It all comes down to control. If I am in control of my own multi-tasking, I love it. Like I might be typing this, cat in my lap, monitoring my daughter, listening to music, while keeping background windows open to remind me of an article I want to read and some photos I need to resize. That's great, because I am immersed in what I'm doing and can keep all those things on my radar in a state of calm alertness. But introduce some factors I can't control: like the kid going apeshit, telemarketers calling, and the cat throwing up -- along with all those other things I was trying to do -- and I'm in hell. So there it is.
Have a splendid, mindful day!
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